Tag Archives: Faith

Am I a disciple of Jesus?

2 - 1 (6)

I just watched the film, “Tortured for Christ,” and many years ago read the book of the same title.  It’s about Romanian pastor, Richard Wurmbrand.  Opposing the Communist regime, he was imprisoned for fourteen years and repeatedly and brutally beaten for his refusal to forsake his Christian faith.

In his own words, “It was strictly forbidden to preach to other prisoners.  It was understood that whoever was caught doing this received a severe beating.  A number of us decided to pay the price for the privilege of preaching, so we accepted their [the communists’] terms.  It was a deal; we preached and they beat us.  We were happy preaching.  They were happy beating us, so everyone was happy.”

While watching the film, I was deeply convicted that I have suffered almost nothing in order to follow Jesus Christ.  When Jesus told us to make disciples, He did not tell us to build large buildings and put on entertaining services so that we could fill them with passive pew-sitters.  He told us to go and make disciples everywhere we went.  And before that, He called us to be disciples ourselves, not considering our lives as precious, but giving them away and pouring them out in service of Him for His greater honor and glory.

I have to ask myself often and honestly, am I really and truly a disciple of Jesus?  The reality is, being His disciple, as well as making disciples, is extremely difficult.  It is backbreaking, heart-rending, self-effacing work.  And following Jesus involves more than theoretical sacrifice.  It involves making concrete commitments and costly choices to follow that might result in becoming uncomfortable, being fired, straining relationships, and losing popularity.  For some, it could even mean far more—a significant loss of freedom and/or the forfeiture of one’s life.

When Peter and the apostles were arrested and questioned by the Pharisees for sharing the good news about Jesus, Acts 5:40-42 tells us that the Pharisees “beat them and charged them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go.  Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name.  And every day, in the temple and from house to house, they did not cease teaching and preaching that the Christ is Jesus.”  They were willing to suffer and even die for Jesus because they trusted, loved, and wanted to honor Him.  Any difficulties endured for His sake were a privilege to thank God for, not a hardship or humiliation to be avoided at all cost.  And as they obeyed Him, they experienced deep and genuine joy.

While I know in theory (and by limited experience) that there is great joy and fulfillment in following Jesus, no matter the risk or cost, I am still constantly tempted to make my life more comfortable, less arduous, and inoffensive.  I often love the world more than God, because I do not really believe he deeply cares for me and is a loving, gracious God.  I constantly think I know better how to live my life because I do not really believe God is wiser than I.  I repeatedly give myself over to sin because I do not really believe that the holiness of God is what I was designed to reflect and exhibit in this world.  And ultimately, I continue to fear hardship, suffering, and death because I love the things of this life more than the eternal things of God.  I don’t really believe that heaven will be magnificently, indescribably better than even the sweetest and most joyous moments in this life.

Am I a disciple of Jesus?  In the broadest sense of that term, I hope I can answer yes.  But in the concrete daily struggle to be faithful, I must admit, I am a continuous and consummate failure.  And yet, in His grace, He still offers the promise that He is with me always, even to the end of the age.  For all my foibles, failures, fears, and faithlessness, He remains faithful and promises that He will never leave or forsake me.  He is still in the process of making me His disciple and, praise God, the journey toward joy is only just beginning!

We are not in control

10947196_681907655264144_4361108332246631898_n

Just before Jesus’ death, the disciples were marveling at the magnificence of the Herodian temple.  As Mark 13;1-2 puts it, “And as he came out of the temple, one of his disciples said to him, ‘Look, Teacher, what wonderful stones and what wonderful buildings!’  And Jesus said to him, ‘Do you see these great buildings?  There will not be left here one stone upon another that will not be thrown down.’”

Herod’s temple seemed impregnable.  It stood within one of the best protected cities in the ancient Near East.  In addition, it was one of the most magnificent structures of its time and at that point in history, had taken almost 50 years to build.  Even more than this, the temple was the sacred place where almighty God dwelt and was worshiped.  How, then, could it possibly be destroyed?

Less than 40 years later, the Romans set it on fire and razed it to the ground.

Not long ago, I was walking around Singapore marveling at the city’s majestic buildings, bustling economy, clean environment, and proactive government.  All seemed right with the world and I couldn’t help but wonder, what could possibly bring down such a towering edifice of human ingenuity and safeguarding as the nation-state of Singapore?  Everything seemed so carefully controlled and well thought-out.

Of course, I knew in theory that if God wanted to bring the nation down, He could do so in a moment, but that possibility seemed so utterly remote and unlikely, it felt like an implausible distant dream.  It’s amazing how a dream can become a living nightmare in just a matter of days or weeks.

It was not a military or alien invasion, nor was it a massive corruption scandal that brought Singapore and the rest of the world low.  No, it was a microscopic virus called COVID-19 that brought this grand illusion of control crashing down, shattering it into a million little pieces.  Try as we might, this intrepid microbe is finding ways to slip through the tiniest cracks of our lockdowns and quarantines, infecting and sometimes killing the rich as the poor, the great and the small, the important and the insignificant.

Try as we might, times like these remind us that we are decidedly not in control—and never really have been.  As Psalm 33:10-22 so aptly puts it, “The Lord brings the counsel of the nations to nothing; he frustrates the plans of the peoples.  The counsel of the Lord stands forever, the plans of his heart to all generations. . . .  The Lord looks down from heaven; he sees all the children of man; from where he sits enthroned he looks out on all the inhabitants of the earth, he who fashions the hearts of them all and observes all their deeds.  The king is not saved by his great army; a warrior is not delivered by his great strength.  The war horse is a false hope for salvation, and by its great might it cannot rescue. Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love, that he may deliver their soul from death and keep them alive in famine.  Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.  For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name.  Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.”

Whatever our illusions of control may have been, COVID-19 confronts us with the fact that the God can use the very great or (in this case) the very small to bring an entire planet to its knees.  While on our knees, may we be found praying prayers of hope and faith in the only wise and sovereign God who still deeply loves and cares for each and every one of us.

 

Will there be enough? Trusting in the God Who Provides

SINGAPORE-CHINA-HEALTH-VIRUS

With the COVID-19 outbreak, stock values worldwide have plummeted over the past few days.  I have not bothered to find out how much my retirement portfolio has already lost since the days and weeks ahead will likely become worse.

Being significantly closer to retirement age than when I started in ministry, I confess, everything that’s happened recently has me thinking about questions of provision.  Will there be enough to eat and live on in the days ahead?  Over the long-haul, will our financial support significantly shrink in the wake of job and market losses?  Will I be able to leave an inheritance to my children’s children?

When Cru founder Bill Bright and his wife, Vonette, were approaching retirement, they decided to liquidate their retirement account to help advance the fulfillment of the Great Commission around the world.  In so doing, they believed God would provide their needs in old age.

Later, when Bill was 74, he was awarded the one million-dollar Templeton prize for advancing spirituality in the world.  Any normal couple might have concluded that God had honored their faith and provided for their retirement through this rather exceptional means.  Instead, Bill and Vonette once again gave it all away, this time to promote a global movement of fasting and prayer.  Seven years later, Bill died, and Vonette joined him twelve years after that.

When visiting Bill’s grave in 2014, I remember thinking it was nice, but relatively simple and non-ostentatious considering he was the founder of one of the largest and most influential Christian organizations of the 20th century.  One thing was clear, however.  Bill and Vonette truly understood what few of us ever will.  They knew that when they died, they would leave behind all earthly goods and spend eternity enjoying the unending treasures of intimacy with the Lord Jesus Christ.  In that light, no earthly shortages or privations really mattered anymore.  They were convinced that God was fully faithful and would always meet their basic needs in this life—and so He did.

He will do no less for us as well, even if our jobs are lost and our retirement accounts drain away to zero.  We can still praise and hope in God, echoing the faith-filled words of the Prophet Habakkuk: “Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation.  God, the Lord, is my strength!

Faith or Fear? Trusting God in the COVID-19 Age

007B1C1B-4070-4954-805E-165E2452AE5D

Since the Covid-19 virus impacted Asia long before the rest of the world, we’ve been living under various restrictions here in Singapore for over a month now.  It’s given me some time to reflect on life, death, and seeking a greater faith in God.

The fact is, apart from the second coming of Jesus Christ, we will all die someday.  The only question is, how and when?  As Christians, we really shouldn’t fear death, although most of do if we’re honest.  And I confess, I am by nature a fearful person.  Although I became a Christian very early in life, some of my earliest childhood memories included the (irrational) fear that I would get sick and die young of some terrible disease.  I suppose it didn’t help watching movies like, “The Andromeda Strain,” and “The Omega Man,” but I always found it difficult to release these fears and trust in the goodness and faithfulness of God.

I take some comfort in the fact that fear is nothing new, and the Bible talks a lot about it.  The simple but profound phrases, “do not be afraid” and “fear not,” are found 67 times in the ESV translation of the Bible.  In Matthew 6:25-34 alone, Jesus mentions anxiety six times.  Closely related positive variations on this theme (“trust/hope in God”) occur numerous additional times as well.  It would seem that all human beings, Christians included, are incredibly prone to fear and need to learn (and constantly relearn) to trust in God’s wisdom and goodness.

With the recent pandemic, it’s incredibly tempting to let anxiety and fear strangle our faith in God.  Surprisingly, I have been experiencing a profound sense of peace in the midst of all the clamor.  In many ways, I am more concerned about the inconveniences of widespread and long-term lockdowns and shortages than I am about death.  After all, death for those in Christ merely means experiencing true life forever in the presence of God!  Why in the world would I fear that kind of everlasting hope and joy?  In the words of the Apostle Paul, “that is far better” (Philippians 1:23)!  In the meantime, however, all of us must continue to struggle to trust God through the vicissitudes—and viruses—of life.

How do we do that?  The answer is neither hidden nor profound.  We ask Him for His grace to live in faith when it’s much more natural to live in fear.  We let the peace of Christ reign in us when panic tries to take over and push Him from the center of our hearts.  And we offer our lives as living sacrifices for God’s glory so that whether in life or in death, our lives remain safely held within His wise and loving hands.