Category Archives: Contemporary Culture

What is Christian authenticity?

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There’s a lot of talk these days about authenticity.  The youth of this generation want authentic leaders and authentic relationships with one another.  I understand this.  No one wants to befriend a phony.  No one wants to follow a stuffed shirt.

But what does it mean to be “real,” and “authentic?”  This question cuts to the heart of the debate raging in mainstream America today about personal identity and gender concerns.  If being authentic means little more than following the deep desires of your inner being, then those with strong feelings and inclinations towards those of the same sex (for example) should freely pursue these inclinations in order to be true to their inner selves.  Failure to do so means you are inauthentic, a poser, a fake, and a fraud.

The problem with this perspective is that it fails to appreciate the sin nature that infects every aspect of our being.  To put it bluntly, whether we admit it or not, we are, apart from Christ, authentic sinners.  This is a humbling truth to accept and not easy for anyone looking to affirm and take pride in who they really are.  While we were not created to be sinners, sinners are what we became when Adam and Eve willingly turned their backs on God.  Ever since, we have been tainted, marred, confused, and deceived about who we really are and who we’re meant to become.

As sinners, apart from Jesus, to be “authentic” to oneself becomes an invitation—even an imperative—to embrace the sinful self and forsake the divine design for which we were created, namely, to obey and serve our Maker in humble gratitude.

There is, however, a far more reliable and enduring source that defines who we’re really meant to be.  We were created to be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ.  Our authentic selves are not found within us at all.  They are found in a right relationship with our Creator made known through Jesus Christ and empowered by His Holy Spirit.

God alone can tell us who we were meant to be, providing Jesus as the example and the explainer of authentic humanity.  He also gives us His Holy Spirit who supplies the guidance and transforming power so that we might become the kind of human beings God created us to be.

This provides a much clearer and more reliable picture of what an authenticity actually looks like.  The genuine person knows and experiences certain realities and possesses certain character traits that can only be supplied from outside the self.  God alone can be the source of authentic human life.

The authentic person, then, knows that all of creation exists and is sustained by a wise and loving God who made it and maintains it for His pleasure and glory.  They humbly acknowledge that moment by moment their very life and breath are a gift from Him, that they are undeservedly loved and forgiven by Him through Jesus Christ.  They spend time seeking to understand and praise and thank this amazing Creator God for who He is and what He has done, is doing, and will do.

The authentic person also understands that to lead is to follow—to serve, sacrifice, and give oneself away.  They know they can only love because God first loved them, that their joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and (ironically) self-control all come from being Spirit-led and Spirit-controlled.

They understand that true security and significance come not ultimately through personal achievement or acquiring increasing amounts of material wealth and recognition, but solely through a right relationship with God.

The Christian vision of authenticity is so radically strange and foreign to what seems normal and authentic to sinners, it can only seem unnatural and inauthentic to those who have no interest in honoring their Creator.  As Romans 1 points out, by refusing to glorify God, they suppress the truth and exchange authentic personhood for a lie.

Thankfully, Christians do not have to fall into the cultural trap of confusing sin with authenticity.  We are made to be someone far greater than natural selves.  We are called to pursue God and let Him conform us to His intended vision of who we were truly meant to be.  In Ephesians 4:24, Paul puts it this way: “Put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”

As divine image-bearers, to be authentic, then, is to be righteous and holy—to be like God.  But notice this: It is an arduous and active process and not easily attained.  It runs hard against the grain of our post-fall natural tendencies and sinful desires.  We must, with God’s help, relentlessly, energetically, and purposefully forsake and sublimate what comes naturally to our former selves.  We must embrace a radically new vision of who He calls us to be and strive with all the power He supplies to become the truly authentic person He created us to be.

In contemporary American life, this is a thoroughly counter-cultural stance.  Suggesting that some of our most deeply-seated personal desires are directly opposed to our own well-being as well as the greater good of society will not necessarily make us popular or respected.  In fact, it may even lead to being persecuted outcasts and vilified enemies of the state.  But as Jesus reminded us in Matthew 5:10-12, “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.  Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven.”

Authenticity, Immorality, and Homosexuality: How do I find my “true self”?

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On May 31st, Trey Pearson, the lead singer of the Christian band, “Everyday Sunday” wrote an open letter to his fans explaining that he was gay and was coming out of the closet.  Married for seven and a half years and the father of two children, this coming out included divorcing his wife.  He claims the vast majority of people, his ex-wife included, have been extremely supportive and encouraging.

I suspect if Trey had openly confessed to his fans he was divorcing his wife because he was having an affair with another woman, their response would have been quite different.

Many Americans find heterosexual unfaithfulness in marriage far more offensive than when a homosexual who has been married to someone of the opposite sex “comes out of the closet” and professes his or her “true sexual identity.”  When they leave their spouse behind for another partner of the same sex, they are considered “courageous” and “authentic.”  The heterosexual offender, in contrast, is deemed “immoral” and “unfaithful.”

This is due to a number of factors, but the link to the idea of “authenticity” stands in a direct-line relationship.  Being “authentic” and faithful to oneself is considered far more important than being covenantally and sacrificially faithful to another.  And what is truly “authentic” is based almost entirely on the internal longings and desires of the individual self.

That we might refer to sacred norms and traditions, that there is an externally designed human purpose and goal, are given little serious consideration, if not overtly ridiculed and mocked.  The idea that there is an ideal human nature that exists apart from—and often stands in evaluative judgment of—the choosing “I,” seems ridiculous and strange to the postmodern thinker who believes that no one and nothing outside of the self can tell a person who they truly are.

Only under this kind of radically emotional and personalist ideology of “authenticity” can someone be publicly praised for using homosexuality as an excuse to forsake a heterosexual marriage vow in order to have sexual relations with someone of the same sex.

But all of this can be set aside for a moment to address what I believe is a deeper danger and greater tragedy.  Because homosexual practice goes against God’s perfect design plan for human flourishing and personal as well as social well-being, it ultimately damages the commonwealth of society and hinders personal connection with a holy God, leading to all kinds of deleterious repercussions and predicaments.  It becomes yet another source of dissatisfaction and ungodliness, just one more form of refusal and lack of desire to be like God on His terms.  As in Genesis 3, we want to “be like God” but only selfishly and in the crudest and most demonic sense of that term.  Thus, homosexuality is not the problem but merely another symptom of the more fundamental problem of being alienated and disconnected with the one true and holy God.

In this sense, when I see the way homosexuals wrestle with their sexuality and inner desires, I see a mirror of myself.  I see my own struggles to be sexually pure, to understand my own true identity, to understand what it means to be a godly man and a male in a world of emotional immaturity, moral cowardice, and sexual confusion.  And if the goal is merely emotional authenticity, then I see the authentic sinner standing at the base of every man, woman, and child who will not yield to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.

In short, homosexuality is symptomatic rather than paradigmatic.  It’s just one more illegitimate way (among many) to try and fulfill a normal desire (sexual pleasure) and need (procreation and relational intimacy) that is, at its root, no different than the alcoholic who tries to meet a normal desire (feeling good) and need (satisfaction of thirst) by drinking too much and too often.  The illegitimacy of the means to try and fulfill such desires and needs ironically results in the distortion and lack of fulfillment, thus making sense of the studies showing homosexuals—especially men—almost always have inordinately higher numbers of sexual partners than their heterosexual counterparts.  The need remains as intense as ever but the wrong way of meeting it only extends and exacerbates the problem of unfulfilled desire.

In the end, they seek but do not find.  They knock on doors where nothing and no one stands behind to open and answer.  Thus, one of the great tragedies of our age lies within the catastrophic canard that tells the homosexual that all that stands between him or her and authentic fulfillment is social acceptance and full freedom to seek satiation.  The terrible truth is they are being given an open and celebrated invitation into greater frustration and deeper bondage.  I genuinely grieve for homosexuals who look for fulfillment in all the wrong places by all the wrong means, because this is what sin loves to do—damage and destroy those who embrace and pursue it.

In a recent speech, Mars Hill Audio Journal founder Ken Myers puts the idea this way: “We are all creatures made in the image of a Triune God, called to fellowship with him, to love for one another, and for stewardship of our earthly home.  Our hearts are restless until we rest in him.  These are not religious opinions, but faithful descriptions of what is really the case.  We are in fact this sort of creature, and our shared public life should honor this sort of fact, not just those facts measurable through material means.”

The good news is you can discover your true self.  There is a source of authentic humanity, but it comes from outside the self and even outside the universe.  It also has a name: the God-man, Jesus Christ.  If you want to find out who you really are, only the One who made you can tell you, and only He can make you who you ought to be: a truly authentic and genuinely godly human being.

I will say more about this counter-cultural and counter-intuitive authenticity in my next post on Christian authenticity.

Home Forevermore

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I said goodbye yesterday to some friends we met on sabbatical.  Sometimes it feels like my life is one continuous goodbye.  Of course there are constants for which I am profoundly grateful.  God is always with me and Barbara has been my ever-faithful life companion through these past 26 years of marriage, but in some seasons of life, the goodbyes seem to engulf the greetings.  As we prepare for our return to Singapore, it feels like this is one of those seasons.

We are saying goodbye to our children, a new son and daughter-in-law, extended family, friends old and new, and so much more.  Of course, new beginnings bring new hellos and new opportunities, but the pain of saying goodbye is still very real and takes time to work through and move beyond.  If I’m honest, there is sadness in excitement and sorrow in anticipation.

In reflecting on these feelings, part of the longing to never again have to say goodbye is rooted in the great hope of heaven where we will finally find ourselves face-to-face with God and join in the sweet communion of the saints in a way we have never known before.  It will never be goodbye again.  It will only be an exultant, spectacular, and unending reunion.

I am reminded of the words from an old Degarmo and Key song:

“It’s gonna be a family reunion when we see the Lord

At the family reunion we’ll be home forevermore . . . home forevermore”

Whenever God calls, I’m ready to be home forevermore and never have to say goodbye again.

Get Ready for the Ride of Your Life

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A Walk to Remember

I recently returned to the town where I grew up and walked through a favorite childhood hangout called Spring Rock Park.  There I sledded in winter, spent hours with my buddies, and played lots of games of Little League baseball.  Walking past the old diamonds, I observed the signboards with the names of recent members of championship little league teams.  I noticed several familiar last names: Feeney, Dixon, McNamara and more.  Were they actually the sons of my old grade-school friends?  It’s hard to say, but it was not inconceivable that “Winkler” might have been posted on those Little League rosters had it not been for the very abrupt and rather inconvenient intersection of God’s amazing plan that so thoroughly interfered with my life plans in college.

I Never Longed to See the World

Growing up, I never really wanted to leave my hometown.  I loved it, and always expected to get married, raise a family, grow old, and die there.  Unlike many others, I never longed to “see the world” or dreamed about visiting exotic places.  I did not even own a passport until forced to get one at the age of 22 when God called me overseas for the first time to spend a summer sharing my faith in Budapest, Hungary.

In for the Ride of My Life

That’s when God decided to change my very small plan for a much bigger one.  I had no idea I was in for the ride of my life—and what ride it has been!  I’ve been behind the iron curtain to share my faith before it fell.  I’ve taught in Trinidad and walked the streets of Vienna and Salzburg, seen Hitler’s eagle’s nest and Mussolini’s profile in the German Alps.

Together, my wife and I have been to what was then the highest airport in the world as well as to the Amazon jungle in Bolivia, South America and eaten wild armadillo.  (It tastes like chicken, by the way.)  We have walked upon the place where the Incas offered up virgins to appease their demonic bloodthirsty gods, claiming that tragic place for Jesus Christ, quoting the scriptures in a rebuke to their pagan and godless ways.  We have ridden elephants in Thailand, stood upon the Great Wall of China, explored the jungles of Borneo and seen real skulls of tribal people who were killed in headhunting raids but later embraced the gospel of Christ and were radically transformed.

And besides our regular teaching and training ministry in Singapore, we have ministered in Manila, developed leaders in Mongolia and Korea, seen the Holy Land, taught in Turkey and toured the seven churches in the book of Revelation, performed a wedding, then preached and taught in Myanmar (Burma), as well as in Thailand, India, and several other places I can’t name.

Looking back now, I shudder to think what I might have missed because I erroneously thought I had bigger plans for my life than God, plans to do nothing more than live, grow old, and die in the same small town.  As much as I wanted it, that simply wasn’t His plan for my life.

The Christian life is not boring!

People sometimes think being a Christian is boring.  They claim there are too many life experiences that are “off limits” if they decide to follow Jesus.  But they are dead wrong.  Nothing is more dangerous, more breathtaking, and more exciting than walking closely with the Lord—even when doing so means you spend your entire life in the same small town.  As long as God calls you to do it, then He has you on a grand adventure of faith where every day brings a new opportunity to discover more about Him and tell others around you about the untold wonders of His indescribable love.  If you are willing to follow Him without reservation, no matter where He takes—or keeps—you, then get ready for the ride of your life.

The Waiting Is the Hardest Part

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I don’t like waiting.  I hate long lines, slow walkers, protracted plane flights.  I am, by nature, not a patient man.  Not that I don’t want patience.  Far from it!  I want patience and I want it now!  I want to be kind and loving now.  I want to be godly now!

It does not help that we live in a microwave world that expects everything to be done in five minutes or less.  The idea that God is in no hurry to bring about His purposes and plans seems almost offensive to our impatient and instantaneous-minded society.

But God is not in any discernible rush to finish His plans for our lives.  He unfolds a timetable that is often very different from our own.  After all, He is in the business of serious soul-making, cavernous character creation, and radical restoration.  And He has all the time in the world to make that happen.

In the meantime, we think everything we deem important should have been finished years and years ago.  We are impatient, demanding, and proud.  God cares enough about that to make our lives arduous, plodding, and humiliating.

When we left Singapore over a year and a half ago, I never dreamed it would be such a protracted journey back to the things that I love, the teaching and mentoring of current and future leaders of the church in Asia.  Yes, I wanted and needed a break, but I also wanted to get back to Singapore on my own timetable.  And I wanted the interim period to be restful and easy.  Instead, God had some serious things He needed to teach me about my lack of character, my laziness of heart, my love affair with anxiety, and my failings as a husband and father—just to name a few.  He also needed to impress into me a renewed willingness to set aside my agenda and let Him have the first and final say over my life, day after day, moment by moment.

God often does this most effectively by making us wait.  When Isaiah tells the people of Jerusalem to “wait” in Isaiah 40:31, he does not tell them to wait for their circumstances to change.  He does not tell them to wait for the perfect opportunity to arise.  He does not tell them to wait on some other god, thing, or person.  He specifically calls them to wait on the Lord.  He alone is the sole source of strength and hope.  But waiting implies the need for patience and assumes what we want of Him will not appear in an instant.  It takes time.  We will be given strength and hope, but only when God thinks the time is right and only in the way He decides.  Meanwhile, we are simply called to wait.

I would be dishonest to say this has been easy for me.  To the contrary, the waiting has been very, very hard.  I am reminded of the immortal words of that great musician and accidental pop theologian, Tom Petty.  Sometimes, “the waiting is the hardest part.”  But as hard as it is, waiting on the Lord is an integral part of learning to love and trust Him.  And in the end, the wait is always worth it.

David puts it best in Psalm 27:14 when he cries out in the congregation, “Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.”

I Am Not Ashamed

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I’m concerned. There is a prevalent undercurrent especially among evangelicals in their late teens and twenties. These young Christians seem particularly focused on what is popularly called, “social justice.” And I’m all for that. It’s a helpful corrective to the overly spiritualized concern for merely “saving souls” that was so predominant in the evangelicalism of my generation.

Very often, however, when making course corrections, the pendulum swings too far in the other direction. In the name of social justice, we may lose our sense of urgency to continue to strike at the spiritual root of what causes injustice in the first place, namely sin—in ourselves as well as others.

But let’s leave that aside and address a much more disconcerting problem in contemporary evangelicalism, namely, the overwhelming passion to be culturally acceptable and respectable. One of the primary reasons social justice is such a popular catch phrase among emerging evangelicals is simply this: it’s a popular theme within the culture at large and we want to be accepted and loved by those around us.

After all, very few people want to be labeled outcasts and troublemakers. The roll of iconoclast has always been a lonely occupation, and only masochists and misfits intentionally seek rejection, derision, and persecution for its own sake.

Christians often argue that the goal to be relevant and inoffensive is noble because it makes us attractive to our culture and demonstrates love in a culture of hate. It opens doors to share what we believe and why. But to be frank, this is a cultural message not a biblical one. Real love warns of danger and rebukes the foolish and educates the uninformed. It does not keep silent when people are ruining their lives and facing eternal separation from God.

If the goal of the Christian life becomes a passionate quest to be popular and not offend anyone, we are no longer living out our calling to follow Jesus. At its root, this desire reveals that we live in fear and not faith. Like everyone else in our culture, we fear for our personal comfort. We fear being disliked and ostracized. We fear losing our status and our livelihood. But we do not fear God above all else. Ultimately, we end up being ashamed of the gospel because we do not actually believe Romans 1:16 when it tells us that “it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes” in Jesus Christ.

True disciples of Jesus were not ashamed to preach the gospel in all its power to offend and cause trouble. In Acts 5:41-42, when the disciples were flogged for publicly and persistently proclaiming it, “They went on their way . . . rejoicing that they had been considered worthy to suffer shame for His name. And every day, in the temple and from house to house, they kept right on teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ.” They were not ashamed, but considered it a blessings and a privilege to suffer for and like Jesus. As 1 Peter 4:16 says, “if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name.”

Of course social justice should matter to Christians, but when it only matters because we want to be culturally “relevant” and “chic,” we have not only lost the foundation upon which genuine justice is based, we have lost our understanding of the gospel message itself—that is has the power not only to save, but also offend.

The gospel doesn’t change people by affirming them. It changes people because it confronts them and reveals to them who they really are—miserable, poor, blind, naked, helpless, and godless. It does not offer hope for a materially better life here on earth. It invites us to come and die, to offer ourselves as a living and acceptable sacrifice to God, just as Jesus did.

Ultimately, the goal of the Christian life is not to be liked, relevant, or inoffensive. Neither is it to be odd, countercultural, and offensive. The goal is to know and follow Jesus, to not be ashamed to share His gospel, even when doing so might not only distasteful to others, but downright dangerous to yourself.

We don’t seek to offend needlessly, but neither should we mute our message for fear of displeasing others. To remain silent is to deny the priority of evangelism, the glory of the gospel, and the power of God. We have to get over our love affair with cultural relevance and acceptability and reignite our love affair with Jesus Christ by boldly sharing His gospel of hope and love with all who will listen. Anything less is a sham and a shame.

Why I Don’t Drink

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In recent years, it has become increasingly common—even trendy and vogue—for contemporary evangelicals to imbibe the produce of the vine and extoll the virtues of craft beers and specialty mixed drinks.

Growing up, my parents weren’t drinkers, but I still understood that the Bible didn’t strictly forbid drinking alcohol. Paul exhorted Timothy to take some wine to aid in digestion (1 Timothy 5:23) and Jesus’ first miracle was winemaking at a wedding celebration in Canaan (John 2:1-11). It was wine—not Welch’s grape juice—the disciples drank at the last supper with the Lord as part of the inauguration of the New Covenant.

It was clear enough to me that a Christian could be a social drinker and not necessarily sin—provided drunkenness was not the result (e.g. Ephesians 5:18) and the drinker was of legal age. But in my mind, it was an ill-advised behavior nonetheless. I had heard too many stories of people whose lives and families had been shattered by the abuse of alcohol. So in the end, I never really gave much thought to the idea that I would take up drinking.

In particular, I was never all that tempted because, 1) I was able to have fun and blow off steam without it, 2) I didn’t like the taste, 3) I had seen too much from the side of sobriety to want to find myself a victim of some of the situations my drinking friends found themselves in, and 4) I somehow saw abstinence as linked to my walk with and witness for the Lord. In short, not drinking was one of the distinctive ways I demonstrated to others that I was a Christian.

Now regarding the fourth reason above, I admit that on the face of it, this is a bad argument. There is no direct-line relationship between abstaining from alcohol and being a godly Christian. To my defense, I did need to wait until I was 21 in college before I was technically “legal,” and it did give me an opportunity to explain why I was different. But it also gave the wrong impression that the only good Christian was one who abstained from all alcoholic beverages.

Additionally, there were many other ways—better ways—I could have been a witness for Christ with my peers. I honestly hope I was. But at the time, I was only vaguely aware of a concept made explicit by Paul in Romans 14, namely the stumbling block principle. Here Paul speaks about the concern every Christian must have for those around us who are watching, especially other believers.

Verse 14 is clear enough: alcohol (for example) is not “unclean in itself.” However, love for one another does create boundaries around our freedom. Paul suggests that the real point of our walk with God is not license, but the pursuit of love and “righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit” (vs. 17). We have liberty in Jesus, but our passion should be godliness and loving concern for others. That’s a good place to start when considering any behavior.

But then Paul goes on to make a curious appeal to what could be called the “privacy principle.” Verses 21-22 state it this way: “It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God.” In other words, if you do something you know to be morally permissible that has the potential to be a bad witness or cause a fellow believer to stumble in their young faith, it’s better to keep that practice private—between yourself and God.

In view of this principle, I am concerned that some evangelicals, in their desire to be culturally “cool” in an increasingly hostile climate, have lost sight of this important principle of concern for the welfare of others, especially those believers who believe drinking alcohol is a sinful activity.

Does this mean that in view of the dangers, we must not drink anymore? Of course not! But drinking alcohol is neither strictly personal, nor merely social. It requires a genuine concern for personal and social responsibility that takes into account the possibility that others might come to harm or stumble in their faith over the choices that we make.

In short, as mature Christians, we must be wise and circumspect in our exercise of Christian freedom. Whether we like it or not, people are watching, and Romans 14 makes it clear that we are accountable not only to God, but also to others. With regard to drinking, He calls us to show real care for others because we are called to a higher standard of social propriety and concern.

I’m not tempted to drink irresponsibly. My temptations come in several other socially acceptable and unacceptable forms. But many others are greatly tempted by the dangers of drinking too much and are often led away from God and toward the ungodly when they drink. We have to keep that ever in mind as we exercise our Christian liberty. We have freedom, but we must use it in service of and concern for others, not merely ourselves.

God of the Unexpected

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When people hear the word, “Christmas” it brings many things to mind, but I have to confess, one of the words that comes to my mind is expectations. I feel the expectations from every side.

Society expects us to buy lots of stuff, our neighbors expect us to decorate our homes, our friends and family expect us to send them gifts and cards. Our church expects us to attend extra concerts, plays, and productions, make shoeboxes for the needy, and reach out to our non-believing friends and relations.

Sometimes the highest expectations come from ourselves as we try to become superheroes and fulfill these expectations while still managing to make the perfect meal, complete with all the trimmings, deserts, and specialty items.

Now don’t get me wrong. Many of these expectations are wonderful things. But when they overwhelm and pull us away from the real reason for the season, we have allowed them to become one more idol that draws us away from our Lord, Jesus Christ.

When contemplating the first Christmas, you begin to realize that it actually did not fulfill a lot of expectations—in fact, quite the opposite. Through Christmas, God reveals Himself to be the God of the unexpected.

Mary expected to get pregnant only after getting married. She did not expect to be visited by an angel, impregnated by the Holy Spirit, or to have her baby—the God of the universe in human flesh—in a feeding trough. The angel Gabriel told her that her son, Jesus, was the One who would “reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” It consequently seems unlikely Mary would have expected to watch Him die an ignoble criminal’s death on a cross.

As an honorable man, Joseph expected to marry a virgin who hadn’t already been pregnant and birthed a child. He expected to be the biological father of his first-born son. He did not expect to have to take his pregnant virgin wife not only down to Bethlehem, but also to flee for their lives down Egypt and back. Nor did he expect to be father to the Son of God.

The shepherds expected to spend a quiet night like any other watching their sheep in the hills overlooking Bethlehem. They did not expect to have a terrifying divine visitation. Nor did they anticipate being granted the honor of seeing the Christ Child or being the first to proclaim His coming to a waiting world. They were the outcasts and rabble of society, and yet beyond all expectation, God chose them to hear and proclaim the gospel before any of the influential and wealthy in society had the chance.

Throughout His life, Jesus did not feel obligated to fulfill everyone else’s expectations. Instead, He was constantly failing to meet them. He castigated the rejected religious establishment while eating and hanging out with sinners and whores. He embarrassed and confounded His own family while creating a new community and a new way of loving one another. He perplexed and reproached His disciples but then entrusted them with the monumentally important task of taking the message of His love and forgiveness to the ends of the earth.

In the end, no one expected Jesus to die and rise from the grave to save the world from sin. But that’s exactly what He did, because Jesus had only one expectation to fulfill in this life. And according to His own account in John 17:4, He fulfilled it when He said to the Father, “I have brought You glory on earth by finishing the work You gave Me to do.” He did everything God asked Him to do—nothing more and nothing less. He obeyed, even to the point of dying on a cross.

Christmas is a time filled with expectations, but there is only one expectation that really matters, namely what the God of the unexpected expects of us. Micah 6:8 gives us a clue as to what that actually is: to do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with Him, not merely at Christmas, but each and every day He gives us life.

Is Jesus worth it? Counting the Cost for Christ

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When I heard God’s call and went into full-time Christian ministry back in 1987, I was only 22 and fresh out of university. Young and idealistic about God’s plans for me and how I might used by Him to change the world, I thought I was willing to go anywhere and do anything for Jesus.

At the time, I didn’t have much. My parents gave me a nice used car for college graduation and everything I owned in the world fit inside. Following Jesus into the great unknown cost me nearly nothing in terms of worldly goods and treasures. I had almost nothing to lose because I had almost nothing.

After being in ministry for almost three decades, I’ve met several people who have left comfortable, respected, and lucrative jobs to answer the call of Christ and go into full-time ministry. Many took huge pay cuts and had to radically alter their former ways of life. When Jesus calls, He bids us come and die—die to sin, die to self. But wrapped up in that simple call is the reality that this death includes a lot of forsaking and leaving behind the things of this world as well.

When I went into ministry, I didn’t yet know what it would ultimately cost me. In many ways, I still don’t. But those who leave good jobs, material wealth, and comfortable lifestyles know all too well what they are leaving behind. And they choose to follow Jesus anyway.

James—the names are fictitious, the situations are not—was offered a rare and coveted teaching position at a Christian university near friends and family in the US. He turned it down so he could continue to raise his own meager support and teach at an obscure and struggling school in Asia instead. After ten years of living and teaching there, his wife nearly died, suffering permanent lung damage because of the perpetual toxic air pollution.

Mark left a successful and lucrative medical career and joined a Christian ministry where he had to raise his own salary—enough for his family of nine! He not only left behind the perks and privileges of a comfortable life, he moved his wife and seven children to a crowded, polluted, and “developing” country overseas where he didn’t speak the language.

Luke left a prestigious teaching position at a respected world-class university where his three children would have been able to attend for free. Why? So he could raise support to teach at a university in Asia no one has ever heard of. To add insult to injury, the school disrespected and discounted his area of research expertise. But he knew he was called and remained steadfast in the midst of the discouraging trials.

To count the cost assumes you have something to count, and the more you have to count, the more it’s going to cost you. None of these opportunities and temptations ever crossed my path. Perhaps God knew if I ever was given the chance or found myself in a comfortable situation with an enjoyable job and a fat paycheck, I would never have had the strength to walk away. He saved me from myself and taught me I could live on less before I ever had much to hang on to or give up.

The Apostle Paul, like many of my friends, gave up a lucrative and promising career to follow Jesus. In Philippians 3 he describes all those earthly things as detritus and dung compared to what he gained: rich fellowship with Christ and deep spiritual maturity.

Paul understood that the life we’re truly made for is not one filled with earthly effects and custom comforts. We’re made for intimacy with God. And that only comes through obedience to His call to take up our cross daily and follow Jesus. Just as Jesus gave his life away, we are asked to also come and die.

No one understood this better than Jesus Himself. When He told his disciples that it profits a person nothing to gain the whole world and forfeit one’s soul, it was not a theoretical proposition. Satan, the god of the world, offered Jesus exactly that—the whole world—if He would only forsake His divine calling to give His life away for the salvation of the world.

This is the message of Christmas and this is why Jesus was later described by the author of Hebrews as enduring the cross for the glory and honor of obeying God even unto death. He understood the reasons for His death and so was able to face it with reluctant though still willing resolve.

Dying is never easy, but it’s easier when we understand not only the cost, but also the gain. As we obey, God promises sweet fellowship with Him and an eternal glory that far outweighs all other earthly gains. That’s a price worth paying, no matter the cost.

Were David and Jonathan gay?

Jonathan_Lovingly_Taketh_His_Leave_of_David_by_Julius_Schnorr_von_Carolsfeld

Some have recently argued that David and Jonathan must have been gay because (so they say) the biblical descriptions of their relationship could only be understood in sexually explicit ways. For example, 1 Samuel 18:1 says that the soul of Jonathan was “knit” to the soul of David. And in 2 Samuel 1:26 David says that Jonathan’s love for him was “more wonderful than that of women.”

The only way this argument gets any traction in today’s world is because we are the products of a very sexualized American pop culture. The concept of deep and meaningful love relationships has become so equated with sexual intercourse, it has become difficult for us to conceive of or understand what real friendship actually looks like.

We have confused sexual love with genuine love between friends, and so we cannot imagine how Jonathan and David could consider their love for one another to be better than the presumably sexual love they had experienced with women.

Part of the problem stems from the fact that in English we use the word, “love” both broadly and flippantly for all kinds of attitudes and actions toward people and things. We say we love chocolate, our children, God, our dog, and our local sports team all in the same breath without seeing any need to provide clarification concerning what we really mean by each use of the word.

The love between friends is a different kind of love than mere erotic interest. This is why the Greeks had several words that we translate into English as “love.” Erotic love was described in the Greek as “eros,” while affectionate love between friends was described by the word “phileo.” It was not sexual, but deeply meaningful and important nonetheless. It still is, but I fear Americans have lost their ability to discern the difference between having sex and loving another in a non-sexual way.

Men in India hold hands with one another and there is nothing sexual about it. It is simply a way to be together with another man and express appreciation for being a trusted friend. And it’s a beautiful thing to see. It’s nothing but a tragedy that men seen holding hands in western culture are immediately assumed to be homosexuals because that kind of benevolent physical touch is associated so strongly with purely sexual advances.

There are cultural nuances here, of course, but there is also something deeper. By buying into the sexual narrative of our time, we have severely diminished our capacity for deep and abiding friendship. We have become obsessed with sexual passions that have little or nothing to do with deep affection. We do not understand anymore how we can truly love someone without turning him or her into a sexual object for our personal gratification.

On the face of it, the bald act of sexual intercourse requires very little time or effort. This is why prostitution has always been a thriving worldwide industry. Total strangers who have never met and might never meet again can “make a transaction” in five to ten minutes if the conditions are right. What makes sex meaningful over the long haul is having it in the God-ordained context of a committed covenantal marriage relationship where deep friendship can grow and blossom alongside the simpler act of sex. Having sex is relatively easy. Becoming friends is not.  It takes time and effort—a lot of it.

And even in marriage, and contrary to the conventional wisdom of today, the most important aspect of a genuinely meaningful relationship is not the sex itself. What makes our lives truly momentous and significant are the lasting friendships we have. Deep and enduring friendships have elements of richness and meaning that sex simply cannot provide.

On page 91 of The Four Loves, C. S. Lewis puts it this way: “Those who cannot conceive Friendship as a substantive love but only as a disguise or elaboration of Eros betray the fact that they have never had a Friend.” This is perhaps one of the reasons that gay men have so many sexual partners during their lifetime. They are looking for the joy of real friendship, but have been deceived into thinking they will find it in nothing more than sex.

David and Jonathan were not gay. They were friends, and possessed a depth of emotional intimacy that is rare indeed. When Jesus called His disciples “friends” and spoke of a love so great that He would lay down His life for them, He meant it literally. He laid down His life to atone for sin—theirs and ours, yours and mine. Sex was never in the equation. Only genuine love was.